Why You Should STOP Looking for Sponsors Who Look Like You!!

Have you ever had a sponsor?
How you ever had someone who was more than a mentor to you?
This would be someone in a position of authority who actually advocated for you and helped opened doors for you. Have you ever had that or pursued that?

Finding the right one can be a dream come true, but it takes time to identify the right person and develop the relationship. For women and people of color, it can feel natural to seek out sponsorship from someone who looks like you. After all, there aren’t many of us at the senior ranks.
We should all get along right? We should all be pulling together to support one another right? Wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen this way.

Oftentimes, those who see you as a threat in the workplace look just like you. They’re also women. They’re also persons of color. They also have families, similar educational backgrounds, and followed a career path similar to yours. On the surface, you should be assets to one another but in their eyes, you are a threat. You are a threat to their positional security, the image they have of themselves in their minds telling them how special and unique they are. They’ve convinced themselves that being the only one makes them exceptional. In their minds, they made it and your presence alone is a direct threat to that.

As a result, you may find that not only are they not ideal sponsors, they may position themselves against you and become obstacles. They may undermine or attempt to take credit for your ideas. They may look for ways to question your intellect, experience, or value. This can be confusing and in some cases heartbreaking. It’s ok! Don’t let these experiences derail or discourage you. Instead, face the reality that seeking out support from fellow professionals simply because they look like you or have personal connections to you, won’t guarantee success. 

Instead, look for sponsors who are in position to help, believe in you, and share your values.